HETEP.

Wow.

For the last few months I have been mentally feeling my vibrations and energies altering. I was subjected to many changes that were “out of the blue” or subconscious .. And today, everything just amalgamated for me. Right here, right now, as I sit watching a lecture congregated by Ra Un Nefer Amen.

I’m not sure when this shift in mindset happened or exactly how or why it is happening. However, I do know that I am here for a reason and that this craving of a higher Self is supposed to be happening.I grow tired of things. More frequently than I think I should nonetheless. I will work so hard to advance to a higher level and once I get there I grow bored, depressed, unsatisfied. I feel like I should be doing something of greater importance or achieving a higher level of responsibility. Which currently explains my situation in New York, at my apartment, at my job, in my relationships. The frequencies of all of these things that I was once so excited to obtain are now too low. So were the frequencies in Tallahassee, when I decided to move to New York in the first place, and the cycle predates to high school.

I’m not sure exactly when I grew jaded of New York and my life here, but it was a few months ago. I began doing a lot of weird things, or things that were very uncommon for someone of my caliber. I stopped wearing make-up. I stopped shopping as frequently as I use to. I began eating healthy and eventually became vegan (this was short-lived for about 3 months, but for me, it was such an evolution). I gained an unexpected interest in Astrology, African-American history, and religion. I began trying to tap into what spirituality meant for me. I grew a profound love, a real love for being Black. I began looking within and actually thinking; working on myself. I have made attempts to rid myself of negative energies, become more connected with others and my feelings, become more understanding, and ultimately release unwanted baggage. In more simplified terminology, when I feel a breach in my connection with someone/something or a faulty issue, I can now think clearly to evaluate and reassess. This is veryyyyyy weird for me, because I have always had one of the biggest attitudes in the world. Still work to be done here, but to see these changes in my behavior out nowhere is .. strange.

A few nights ago I found myself reaching out to people that I had thought I let go off during the Lunar Eclipse. I felt so vulnerable, powerless, and stupid. The universe has been sending me sign after sign to rid myself of those relationships and here I was going against the grain. And just like that I found myself back at square one .. I had lost control of the only two natural emotions that Beings possess. Peace and joy because I was looking for happiness in Man. Which I came to terms that I have been subconsciously doing throughout my entire life and I am just now realizing this today, in this moment.

“Happiness is being peaceful when you do not have something and enjoying it when you have it. And being peaceful when you can’t have it. And being joyful because you’ve mastered the art of being peaceful. “Man, money, and material objects cannot make you happy and when you go looking for happiness in these things, you risk the possibilities of maintaining the inner happiness that you possess. You have to be happy first. The happiness will give you the vitality and the equilibrium of Man and the power of the spirit to attract to yourself the things that you need for success and well-being. Happiness comes out of you fixing your attitude to life and accepting peace.

The human spirit can be whatever you want it to be and can give any action that you program it to give. No use to choose something that is harmful and destructive, such as harboring hate, anger, stress, and fear when you have the option to choose a state of peace.

Hearing that brief lecture from Ra Un Nefer Amen really caused a shift and made all of these things that I deemed as weird, make sense.

Begin with changing your Self image and finding your equilibrium. I am still figuring this out and I am sure that I will be for the years to come, but I hope this peaks your journey of re-calibrating who you thought you were.

HETEP.