I Ain't Shit

Once upon a time I was a cashier at a grocery store. Hated that shit. I was an assistant to a cosmetologist until I found out that women find the shit talking at hair salons way more enthusing than freshly done hair. I directed traffic at the fair, but after dodging all of the cars that I thought my friends were in I quit. That shit was embarrassing. Then there was that time that I worked at a photography call center and had to listen to people bitch about not being able to locate their graduation photos and reading is fundamental people, that is all I have to say about that. I wanted to be a homicide detective until I decided that dead bodies were not exactly my thing. I wanted to design clothing until I realized that I would also have to assume the position of seamstress too and God damn, do I hate sewing. I recently wandered into a psychic reading where she was sure that I should be working with children and the elderly. Not to sound like a heartless bitch, but children and the elderly aren't exactly my forte. And here I am now ... A jewelry product developer for one of the biggest retailers and I still ain't shit. Why is it that I have watched myself grow and excel throughout various occupations and experiences yet I still am not fulfilled? Well, it is a lot less complex than it seems. I still have not found my purpose. I have not found that thing that will feed my soul every morning when I wake up. The thing that will bring me everlasting happiness. The thing that not only fills my wallet, but will equally feed my heart. So how do you find your purpose without wasting half of your life doing things that you ultimately have no genuine long term interest in? Easy, you continue to partake in these cheap thrills. At the beginning, of course it'll feel like you have just walked into a new dimension, but then that flame will die and you will know that it is not for you. The key is to enjoy what the experience had to give and get out while you are ahead. Once you figure out that whatever it is no longer feeds your soul, if it ever did to begin with, run for your fucking life.

On the journey to finding your purpose:

1. Know Yourself: Figure yourself out. Learn about what you truly like without societal influences and opinions. Stop conforming and do what floats your fucking boat. I work in Corporate America. Skirts below your knees, shoulders covered, denim on Friday's Corporate America. Ironic because I am the exact opposite of the Corporate World. I'm all for skimpy skirts and bandeau bras (self expression as a whole). I change my hair every 3 days, I wear excessively long nails with glitter polish, and I have a total of 8 tattoos, not to mention the tattoo on my neck. And guess what? I am comfortable in my skin and I stand for that.

2. Get Your Hands Dirty: Step outside of your comfort bubble. Step up to the plate and try something that you are totally opposed to. You may find out that you actually like it. I studied Criminal Justice for all four years of high school and half of a semester in college. I wanted to work with dead bodies for Christ sake.

3. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly: As cliche as it sounds, every experience is a lesson learned. It may not be your destiny to flip burgers, but for starters you learn that it is not for you and two, well you learn that, that shit just isn't for you.

4. Ride Your Own Wave: What is for you is and will always be for you. Be inspired by someone else living in their purpose, but do not try to relive their journey. Do not jump onto something because it seems "cool" from their point of view. They worked hard to figure that shit out so work just as hard to figure yours out. It'll suck twice as hard when you realize that you did it because it looked "cool" oppose to doing it because it is actually fulfilling to you.

5. You still ain't shit.... YET and that is okay. Keep soul searching.